So I was recently in Vancouver! You didn’t know that? I didn’t tweet about it every day enough for you? What’s important to know is that while in BC I was without wi-fi for a week, because as you know some parts of our fine country didn’t develop as quickly as others.* I stepped into Starbucks (blech) for a couple of minutes one night to check my email and you couldn’t keep me from Twitter if you tied my hands behind my back, but aside from that I was all, “Look at this mountain! Who needs the internet!”
As it turns out, I NEED THE INTERNET. Surprise! I had an amazing trip but sometimes I just want to Tumblr search pictures of Mark Ruffalo, you know? They eventually let me come home and I was like “hi dog/grandma/papa/friend who picked me up from the airport/INTERNET” in reverse order. Obviously it turned out that in a show of defiance my own wi-fi stopped working while I was away, though… so instead of obsessively scrolling through everything that I missed or favourited for later, I went to bed for three days.
“Sleeping until it fixes itself” is one of my favourite ways to solve problems, and as a general rule it never, ever works. Rogers internet service, though, proves me right often enough that I’ll probably never break the habit. Yesterday when I woke up my Apple notifs were like PINGPPPINGPINGPING INTERNET AVAILABLE and I immediately set about spending an entire day catching up on everything that I’d missed. I scrolled through an obscene number of pages on my Tumblr dash (if you were wondering what I was doing liking something you wrote from last Wednesday… no YOU love your internet friends too much), tackled the neglected RSS feeds and cleared out my favourites on Twitter.
You and I both know that you don’t actually care how my week was, so I’ve spared you an account of what you missed while I was away. Instead, I give you a list of what I missed while I was away because that is actually interesting and is NOT 8 different stories that end “and then a Canucks fan yelled something rude at me.”
These were my open tabs after tackling a week’s worth of racket in one day:**
- Mark Reads The Hunger Games
I haven’t actually read this yet. I’m just obsessed with what everyone on earth thinks about The Hunger Games. I’m Sarah Findlay and I cannot yet endorse this message. - Blue Jays Will Sign A Top Free Agent - But Only When It Makes Business Sense
- Dirk Hayhurst Q&A (Toronto Star)
I have a lot of feelings about this that I’ll save for (maybe) another post. After reading both of Hayhurst’s books this interview is really, really frustrating for me because while I would never suggest that his feelings are fabricated, I do feel like his timing is manipulative. - Everything Written Here Between the 16th and 26th of February
- Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung
- Walking Dead Recap S02E10 “Two Tickets to the Knife Show” (Videogum)
“So Grimes sees the two cop zombies and is like “Wait! I used to be a cop with my friend Shane! I can’t leave him for dead!” Which would make sense if he was anyone other than Grimes, who has spent every single episode of this show going out to try and save anyone who might not even need saving and might just be trying to have a quiet drink alone at a bar. Based on everything we know about his character, he never would have left Shane in the first place, but OK, here he comes to rescue Shane.” - JP Arencibia is Beyond Endearing (Toronto Star)
- A Journey Through Darkness (NY Times)
- TAKE ME HOOOOOME, COUNTRY ROADS
Confession: I barely know any of the words to this song but regularly belt out the chorus. I keep forgetting to put it on my iPod and instead youtube it occasionally, usually after hearing a random piano man play it in a bar. - We The Web Kids (The Atlantic)
- Torrent for Maya Rudolph on SNL
- In Defense of Liz Lemon (The New Yorker)
- @LottOnBaseball’s Spring Training Media Grid
I was absolutely tortured all week because twitpics are really hit or miss on ye olde BlackBerry. Sometimes they turn up, usually the boring fuzzy ones of food, and other times they don’t. So whenever someone asked me whether I was thinking about moving out west, instead of thinking “well, no” I thought “DO YOU REALLY THINK I CAN BE AWAY FROM JOHN LOTT’S SPRING TRAINING PHOTOS ANY LONGER?” If I can’t handle that there’s no way I’d be able to take watching a summer of baseball and not being able to expensively partake in it myself. On that note… - Bad Spring Training Twitpics!
- Being Funny and Why It’s Important (We Other Animals)
- Some Children’s Choir Sings Gotye
- I don’t know who these children are but they have hilarious amounts of attitude. I love kids and I like this song and someone should tell those 5 people with the guitar that they need to add some hand motions to their Gotye cover. Step your game up, 5 people with the guitar. This also reminds me of my niece’s recent affinity for “Criminal” by Britney Spears and how it is always open on YouTube when I turn my iPad on because she is a sneak.
- Argument You’re Having With Yourself About Rihanna and Chris Brown (Vulture)
- GQ on Reviving a 3 Year Old Gary Oldman Interview
- Owen Hunt is Rick Santorum (Huffington Post)
I haven’t read this yet either because I haven’t caught up on Grey’s, but it already bums me out because I loooove me some Ginger Badass With A Suppressed Scottish Accent Owen Hunt. He has been a huge cock lately though so I guess I’m not too surprised. - Urban Dictionary Entry: “Bun That”
I said this to someone while in BC and I have never seen such a confused look on a person’s face in my life.
*There absolutely was wi-fi at the place I was staying but I decided to take a break and leave my computer at home so I could focus more on watching Family Feud with my best friend.
**I could have put this under a ‘Read More’ but I don’t know how so you can suck it and scroll. I also condensed some tabs otherwise there would be 19 Getting Blanked links and 75 Cracked articles. You’re WELCOME.
